Britney,
I hope you are doing well and getting some much-needed rest. You’ve been on my mind lately. Not only because your photo is on the front of so many magazines and your story the topic of so much news, but because I am a mom as well and sometimes not sure how to balance all that’s required.
You and I have never met and being moms and women might be all that we have in common. You’re a pop star, I’m a journalist. You’re wealthy, I’m a journalist. You’re 26, I’m 32. You look amazing after having two kids, and I didn’t look that great before having the first child.
But the differences aside, the common bonds of womanhood and parenthood are strong. When all else fails, we women know that any other woman in the room gets it - the frustration, the challenges, the uncertainty. And although my child is only 5 months old, I already feel that bond with other mothers as well.
Women are expected to play multiple roles in society today and those roles don’t always complement each other.
The qualities that make women successful and strong may not be the same qualities that make them good wives, mothers, daughters, friends or sisters. In fact, those qualities can compete.
I have a hard time shifting from professional journalist to playful giggling mom once the work day is complete; and from baby-focused mom to hubby-focused wife once my daughter is asleep. And while I love my mother with all of my heart, being a mom hasn’t made me a better daughter either. In fact, there have been a couple of times I’ve wondered how I was even raised!
Some days it’s like my head might explode. And then I remember that it could be the hormones. No one told me how bad the hormone imbalance would be! Seriously, I’ve spent my fair share of days hiding in my house wearing sweat pants periodically crying for no reason. Or perhaps I cry for every reason. I really can’t be sure.
So when I read about your trips to the hospital and all that’s going on with your life, my heart goes out to you and I wish you the best. I can only imagine how hard it must be to have a camera pointed at your face when you’re trying to deal with such complex personal, career and family issues.
All the benefits of wealth and fame aside, your life cannot be easy.
I remember when your first album and Rolling Stone cover came out in 1998 - 1999 and the conversations I had with my friends about the immediate controversy that surrounded your career. I had previously worked in a record store, so my record store friends and I regularly compared artists and theorized what their future might hold.
I had your back in those initial conversations. I said that there is more to you, and any woman for that matter, than one magazine cover can capture. Than one interview can disclose. Than one album can tell.
I said that women who are confident with who they are, especially when they’re not afraid to be sexy or aggressive, are either loved or hated - and sometimes both. I theorized that you would have a long career with its fair share of ups and downs, but that you would endure.
So endure. Deal. Look to the women in your life and channel their feminine energy. It may be unsaid, but they get it. While you’re at it, take stock of the people in your life. Be strong and smart and decide who deserves your time and attention.
There are two people who do - your children - so be strong and make the necessary sacrifices for them, if not for yourself. I know you have it in you and have faith that you will pull through this phase in your life.
You’ve endured hours of exhaustive dance practice, touring, child birth and a few bad hair days (sorry, Brit, but it’s true) and you can get though this as well.
You don’t have to be a pop star if you don’t want to. You don’t have to be blonde, or thin or successful either.
But you do have to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your sons. You’re a young mother, but I believe that you’re a smart mother and look forward to hearing good news from your camp. And don’t worry; I’ll know what’s going on on your end. I’m sure your story will continue to meet me at the market, on the television and on my home page - for your sake I’m hoping for better headlines.
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