Sophia’s temperature soared to 101.7 on Monday night and we spent the following few days in the hospital. She is recovering now and we are following up with her doctor next week. Still no word on when my husband and I will be recovered from the ordeal.
Many people have told me to trust my mother’s intuition. That I have a unique understanding of my child and will be able to comprehend her needs. I’m afraid, though, that my intuition is flawed or possibly just taking a while to kick in.
Sophie and I left the house on Monday afternoon to run some errands. She needed socks, I needed Starbucks.
She was fussy, but not too fussy. She slept, but not too much. She ate a little less than normal, but not too much less than normal. She didn’t have a lot of energy, but it was one of those fall days and I didn’t either. My instincts told me that all was well and that babies have good days and bad days. She is developing a personality and not every day will be her best.
We returned home and fell asleep early in the evening. I woke up at midnight to feed her and she was hot and making puny sounds far different than her usual robust “feed me” cry. When I picked her up I noticed that she was hot. I took her temperature, called the pediatrician and went to the emergency room.
Once we arrived and they verified Sophia’s temperature, a series of tests and tears began that lasted for a few days. The tears continue.
Sophia had a spinal tap in the emergency room to check for infection, blood drawn for further testing and a catheter was inserted to gather a urine sample. An antibiotic and Tylenol were administered and she was admitted as a patient.
The nurses assured me that she will not remember the pain of being a 7-week-old pin cushion, but it was still hard for me to watch Sophia cry and feel the needle as they poked her arms and hands for blood and extracted spinal fluid from her little back. I was told that most parents leave the room during the tests, but if she was crying I was going to stand there and cry by her side. We were a mess.
The next few days were trying. I truly had a hard time keeping my head on straight because I was so emotional. I asked as many questions as I could think of, called our pediatrician (who does not have attending rights at the hospital we went to) for a second point of view and bugged the nursing staff up until the minute we were discharged. Sophia responded well to the antibiotics and was doing better, but I continued to flail and fear the worst.
On top of head congestion she has been battling for a couple of weeks, Sophia was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection which the pediatrician believed caused her fever. While we were thankful that the diagnosis was somewhat common, Sophia’s age was a concern. She’s just so small, so young, so fragile – I just kept looking at her little body hoping it would rebound.
Both the attending pediatrician and Sophia’s doctor said that a condition called vesicoureteral reflux can cause urinary tract infections. The condition is present in almost one-third of children with urinary tract infections and can lead to kidney damage and scarring, according to WebMD.com.
Tests can determine if this is the case and there is a treatment. We’re beginning those tests as soon as possible.
Or, Sophia’s infection could have been caused by fecal contamination. Little girls are to be wiped from “front to back,” but most bowel movements are all over the place before the wiping begins. Regardless, we’re taking even more care when changing her diaper.
And piling on to the issues for which my husband and I are unprepared to handle well, Sophia’s hospital-visit bonus prize is a wicked diaper rash caused by hospital-grade wipes, so we’re working to heal that, too.
I continue to hope for the best but am becoming increasingly compulsive. I’m taking Sophia’s temperature often and have no plans of leaving the house with her unless necessary for fear of a viral infection on top of everything else. Diaper changes have become a dramatic event involving wet cloths, alcohol-free wipes and butt paste. At this point I would elect to put Sophie in a sterile plastic bubble if I could.
I have struggled to find my footing as a new mom. It concerns me that when I thought that I was finally getting the hang of it and beginning to feel more confident in my ability to take care of Sophia, we ended up spending three nights in the hospital and she spent her first Halloween hooked up to an IV. Her little arm was wrapped so heavy with gauze and tape holding the IV in place that it looked like the beginnings of a mummy costume.
I am thankful that Sophie is getting better and I am eager to follow up with the doctor next week to make sure that all is well. It’s amazing how robust her body is. I think she is giving her infection as good of a fight as she gives me when I try to get T-shirts over her head.
As for me, I’m going to work on merging my head, heart and intuition into one parenting method that doesn’t rely too heavily on any one part. I can read as many articles about what to expect during childhood as I like, but the knowledge will not help me if I cannot identify the warning signs when something is wrong. And when I do have to deal with an illness or other issue, it will be helpful to all of us if I can leave some of my emotion at the door. I will be more effective at wiping Sophie’s tears if I am dealing with fewer of my own.
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Mother’s intuition comes with lots of practice...we are all a work in progress.
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Jan. 13, 2008 at 05:13 AM
I have a friend whose 2-year-old daughter had the same problem. At the age of 1 year, she had surgery to correct the problem and has been great since. I should hook the two of you up—you’d really like each other.
* Comment originally posted 8 p.m., 11/03/07
Lea
Dec. 20, 2007 at 04:33 PM
I am so sorry to hear about tiny girl’s problems. I would not worry about a lack of “instincts” You didn’y sleep through her crying. You didn’t ignore her temperature. Sometimes there isn’t anything that signals “I’m really sick”. I stayed up all night once with Ezra when he had a fever. Then I fell asleep about 6 AM and was awoken at 6:15 when Ez had his febrile seizure against my back. I thought I was gonna vomit… I have never felt so guilty, but the Doc (a neighbor of my parents) said it can run in families to have them with high fevers and both Shane and My little sis had them as toddlers. The best thing for diaper rash is called Triple Paste and is made by Summers Labs in California. It is a miracle cream. Once we started Ez on he never had another rash… not one! Same with my niece Carter who could not be wiped, only rinsed in warm water. She has VERY sensitive skin. I hope you and Max recover from the ordeal.
* Comment originally posted 8:23 p.m., 11/04/07
Jane
Dec. 20, 2007 at 04:32 PM
Parenting is trial and error. Please don’t beat yourself up over “knowing” when something is wrong. You did everything you could, as it happened, and this is all that can be expected of you. Mother’s intuiotion comes with lots of practice...we are all a work in progress.
Jake had meningitis a full day before I thought that was what was wrong with him. I still battle that “overprotective mom” thing versus the “I don’t give a rip; it’s a passing thing, and I am not going to be neurotic about it” mom. Carys was in and out of the hospital when she was bron, for a number of things. It’s so hard when you want to be right every time, to spare the pain for them...and that’s why parenting is the hardest job on the face of the earth.
Rely on Max and lean on each other when the going gets tough. You both know what’s best for Sophia, and you’ll be an invaluable resource for each other when things get trying. Things change, problems change--but we all do the best we can. There’s no magic answer! Just remember to speak up and be her advocate; with that, I promise you are doing what’s best for your family.
* Comment originally posted 8:39 a.m., 11/05/07
Beth of Tappahannock
Dec. 20, 2007 at 04:32 PM
Hang in there. She’s always going to be tiny, even when she’s 30. When I was 18-months-old, I had surgery on my eyes and then, again, when I was 6. I know my mom was really freaked out, but she never talks about what it’s like to see your baby wheeled away or hooked up to IVs.
I’m not sure what butt paste is, but I’m wondering if it would help my peri-menopausal acne.
* Comment originally posted 3:53 p.m., 11/05/07
Laura
Dec. 20, 2007 at 04:31 PM
Nicole,
UGH. This is the worst fear as a new mommy and I’m so sorry that this happened. But as little as they are, little people are fighters. I’ve seen newborns with casts on because they broke collar bones on exit.
My cousin spent three years in and out of hospitals because his colon never formed completely.
And both are fine.
Don’t second-guess yourself. You did good! Hell, you did GREAT. And you clearly love Sophie more than anything in the world to cry along with her.
That’s all she can ask for, no?
* Comment originally posted 5:22 p.m., 11/06/07
Mair of Richmond
Dec. 20, 2007 at 04:30 PM
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