For as tough as it is to take care of an infant, it’s even harder to spend time away. Late-night and early-morning feedings may result in lost sleep and under-eye bags, but waking up to an empty cradle leaves a void that’s impossible to fill.

I have become addicted to receiving a smile from my daughter first thing in the morning. I get excited each time Sophia greets me with bright eyes and a big grin. It’s the only way to start the day - even when it follows a late or restless night.

Last night was the third time I spent the night away from our baby girl. On each occasion she has been with her grandparents, so I know she is in good hands, but that’s little relief when I instinctively listen for her to cry and check on her cradle only to remember that she’s not at home.

Instead of breathing a sigh of relief and going back to bed for a few more minutes when I woke up home alone this morning - no bottle to fill, no diaper to change, no grump to manage - I felt like there was something missing - a valuable part of my day and life at home.

That’s the rub of parenthood. Things that would have been wonderful before the baby arrived don’t always have the same value. Exhaustion is tolerable because of why you’re exhausted. The price to pay for uninterrupted sleep is accounted for in missed smiles, hugs and coos.

For sleep-deprived parents, a peaceful night and morning alone sound great. But add the emotional response of being without the child you’ve become accustom to caring for and time alone becomes a burden.

Sure, the first few hours are great, but then you just want the baby back.

Posted by Nicole McMullin in • Parenting • New Momma
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